My most recent column for Northside Woman magazine ...
Here I Am, Back in Middle School
Now that my daughter
is in sixth grade, I find myself back in the middle again. Middle school, that
is. That fun mix of algebra, acne and angst we reflect on like tooth
extraction: had to be done, glad it’s over.
Why is that murky
time so wrought with emotion? Is it the raging hormones? The ravenous hunger brought
on by an explosion in height? The inability to keep one’s skin clear no matter
how extreme — or flammable — the solution?
Part of the
turmoil is taking those first tentative steps towards romance. Of course, these
faux-relationships are fraught with awkward overtures, last on average 3 days,
and many are a miscommunication: “I thought you asked if I like the color blue,
not will I go with you!”
But learning how
to navigate middle-school romance can help avoid bigger heartbreak in the
future. Here’s some advice I’ve given my daughters:
If
you tell your posse of BFFs who you think is cute, everyone within a 100-mile
radius will know within the hour. Middle school girls are genetically
wired to download tidbits of juicy info at warp speed. They aren’t bad friends,
they simply lack the ability to store information. Plan accordingly.
Let
him text or call you first. If you call a boy, he will brag to his
friends that you like him. You’ll come home upset, and I’ll have to shoot some
kid dirty looks until he graduates from college. Save us both the effort.
Put
nothing in writing. Even subjects as mundane as lunch can be
humiliating if read aloud by your teacher. Also, I am saving items for an
elaborate, multi-media presentation at your rehearsal dinner. Don’t add to my
arsenal.
We’re
nuts — spread the word. I don’t condone lying, but I’ll take no issue
with you hinting your family has a world-class machete collection. Or that your
aunt is rumored to have beaten an intruder half to death with a flip-flop. If
boys think you have crazy and potentially violent relatives, they tend to
handle your feelings with care.
If a
boy doesn’t ask you to the dance, it doesn’t mean you aren’t wonderful.
It probably means he was scared to call, or maybe he’s grounded for making
straight Fs (because he’s not very smart if he doesn’t think you’re wonderful.)
Don’t allow your worth to be determined by some kid whose name you won’t
remember in 5 years.
Be
kind. Boys may act tough, but they feel insecure and get their feelings
hurt, too. Manage your friendships so everyone maintains their dignity.
It’s a shame so
many opinions about ourselves are formed when we’re unsure of who we are and our
place in this world. I wish I had known then that the algebra gets done, the
skin clears up, and the angst … well, it gets transferred years later to
worrying about your kids in middle school. But I’m pretty sure that turns out
okay, too.
Amy McCormick Dawson is an Atlanta-based
columnist and writer who will not confirm nor deny if she considers flip-flops
a weapon. See more columns at www.amymacwrites.com.
Photo taken at Scott's Antique Market in Atlanta.
Mask considered, but ultimately (and regretfully) not purchased.
No comments:
Post a Comment