Dear Bob Tuschman, SVP, Programming and Production, Food Network:
First, let me be honest … I’ve never seen an episode of “The Next Food Network Star.” That is, until last night. Don’t get me wrong – I am a huge fan of the Food Network. You’re my go-to when I need a little culinary inspiration. Sometimes I tune in just for the relaxing break from the usual anxiety-provoking news, or heaven forbid, celebrities engaging in some sort of humiliating reality relay race.
But last night, I tuned in to watch Melissa and Jeffrey duke it out over chicken, steak, an industrial-quality kitchen and the title “Next Food Network Star.” As a mom who loves to cook, I knew I’d relate to Melissa and her ‘I’ve got a million kids but I still have time to teach you how to create yummy meals’ shtick. But then there was Jeffrey, with his brand of cooking that is not unlike gourmet yoga. Seriously, watching him cook is relaxing and informative at the same time. His “Ingredient Smuggler” theme made me feel like I was on an overseas trip to sample foreign cuisine … but was simplistic enough I could actually make right here in the ATL. It would have added a dash of spice (so to speak) to your current lineup.
Bob, I’d like to give you a tip, totally for free, which could make you lots of money over the next few years: give Jeffrey his own show, too. Think about it – the folks at ABC do this constantly with their Bachelor/Bachelorette series – those same people erupt like a bad case of skin boils like four times a year. You’d be doing a public service by putting Melissa and Jeffrey on air.Where, oh where, could you fit Jeffrey into your programming schedule already packed full of friendly hosts cooking up daily culinary miracles? How about a little salt-shaker shake-up? Save one of your current stars from overexposure…and several of them are swimming in shark-infested overexposure waters, if you know what I mean. If someone has more than one show, has written multiple books (cooking or otherwise) and has a magazine bearing their name – well, take my word for it, slash one of their shows and spread the love.
As for your choice of the Next Food Network Star, I am making Melissa’s four-step chicken tonight for dinner. No seriously, I am. Don’t make me post a picture of raw chicken just to prove it.