Easy Recipe for Christmas Eve Dinner

Y'all, I was writing out my Christmas menu today and have a casserole recipe that is seriously yummy and super-duper easy. I highly recommend you plop this one on your holiday table ... it'll disappear quicker than the paper on all those carefully wrapped gifts.


Ingredients:


1 can French-style green beans (drained & rinsed)
1 can white shoe peg corn (drained & rinsed)
1 can cream of mushroom soup
8 oz. sour cream
1/2 cup chopped white onion
3 celery stalks, chopped
1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded
3/4 tsp. salt (or to taste)
1/4 tsp. pepper (or to taste)
1/2 stick butter, softened
1/4 cup toasted slivered almonds
1 sleeve buttery round crackers (ie, Ritz crackers)


Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. If you need to toast your almonds, throw those in for about 10 minutes and set aside to cool. Stir together everything from the green beans to the pepper and flop into a lightly greased casserole dish. (Flop is not a culinary term. It means don't waste time trying to make this pretty. It's going to be a bubbly mess by the time you pull it out of the oven. Conserve your resources.) Now, crush up those Ritz crackers, stir them together with the melted butter & toasted almonds and spread on top of your green bean mixture. Pop into your preheated oven for 30 minutes. 


Even people who claim to prefer scurvy to vegetables will love this dish. And, serving this will land you right back on Santa's good list if you've been naughty.


Enjoy!


XO -- Amy Mac 


PS - the above photo is of the Ajax Diner in Oxford, Mississippi. Seriously some of the best Southern cooking on earth, and just the kind of place that would serve this sort of dish. Also, this is a recipe I adapted slightly from a Southern Living magazine about 10 years ago and have been making ever since.

Tips for Last Minute Holiday Shopping

There are only a few days left before Christmas, and perhaps you still have a few gifts to purchase (if not, keep that to yourself. It makes people mad. Instead say “almost there,” then sigh heavily. This prevents you from being socially shunned. You’re welcome.)

I find shopping akin to being force-fed live octopus, and I blame sales clerks. Not all of them — many salespeople are delightful. I’m referencing those who look at you like you’ve run over their cat when you say you are not, in fact, a member of their shopping program or continue to pester you after you’ve said “just browsing, thanks!” 

After years of experience, I’ve created a plan for diffusing the distinct methods of salespeople. Use these solutions and finish your shopping in peace.

The Teacher

This person drops from the ceiling like Cathy Rigby in Peter Pan to tell you about the special offers. Two t-shirts for $30, 20 percent off everything in the store, buy a pair of earrings, get a free live penguin. Never mind there are no less than 50,000 signs posted in the store outlining all the deals. She wants you to stand still for five minutes so she can recite them for you.

The solution: When shopping, wear a t-shirt that says “I can read. And add. I’ve got this.” Point to it when approached by Cathy’s stunt double, then flash the thumbs-up sign.

The Overachiever

This gal will ask you no less than 57 times if you need help. She will follow you around like she’s a puppy and you have pocket full of bacon.  No amount of discouraging body language short of shoving will keep her away. You are her new BFF, and she’s determined to stick with you.

The solution: Place a fake call on your cell phone to your fake infectious disease doctor, assuring him that of course you understand the oozing boils are very contagious, but you have them carefully constrained under your jacket. Throw out the words “airborne” and “malaria” and “fatal.” Enjoy the remainder of your peaceful shopping experience.

The Teen Flattery Machine

With her hot-off-the-press driver’s license, this gum-chewing teen has accepted her first job at the mall and aims to please. She squeals “that looks sooooooo CUTE on you!” and your immediate reaction is to check that your midriff and/or the top of your crack are not exposed.

The solution: Up the ante with your squealing noise, say “OMG!” multiple times, then ask for her name so you can send her a friend request on Facebook. You will not see her again. Ever.

The Snob

When you ask for a certain brand of jeans, this one says “we quit carrying those last year because no one was wearing them anymore.” She regards you as if you have dried vomit in your hair and are missing several teeth.

The solution: Engage her in conversation. Compliment her profusely and ask for fashion advice. Ask if you can take her picture so your daughter can emulate her hairstyle. Tell her to smile big! Then, just as you snap the picture, gag out loud, tell her she has something green and furry in her teeth, then run from the store top speed. 

Here’s to a season of peaceful shopping and much merriment while enjoying the spoils of our shopping. I must go, for I am only {insert heavy sigh} Almost Done Shopping.

Happy Holidays!

Amy M. Dawson is an Atlanta-based humor writer who does the vast majority of her shopping online and would never, ever eat octopus -- alive or dead . See more at www.amymacwrites.com.

Photo via Archana on Pinterest

RIP Santa

Dear Santa:


We are very sorry to hear of your untimely demise. Losing your nose and having your beard torn from your face -- um, ouch. Not to mention your hair sort of looks like Nick Nolte's in his mug shot. Never a good look.



The good news is we hear there is photographic evidence linking two suspects to the crime. Both were found on the scene, one turning circles in the hair so recently torn from your chinny-chin-chin. The other caught red-handed, or red-pawed, if you will.




Oh, wait. That's us.


Santa, we can explain. No one really explained the whole concept of Santa to us. I mean, we're not even six months old for crying out loud. If we'd heard the lyrics "he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sakes" we wouldn't have even been tempted to make a snack of your face while our Mom took a quick shower. 


We promise never to do this again. 


Merry Christmas,


Thatcher & Watson


PS - Congrats to Lori for winning the giveaway! Send me your address to amymacprATgmailDOTcom and I'll put it in the mail.